the thing about being happy is, i find that it’s quite short-lived. yes, i acknowledge that i shouldn’t read too much into anything and everything and just experience it. but hor, how to when i find myself confused? it’s not exactly tragic or crucial lah but significant enough to invade my peace of mind. not entirely a biggie yet sufficient to cause a spiraling effect.

i’m not even trying to decipher the notion behind it (a stupid thing to venture). as mind-boggling as it gets sometimes, i vehemently refuse to make excuses for the stupid things stupid people do ( lest i’m warranted as birds of a feather) or for all the bizarre acts exclusive to nut cases. i take it as, they are highly dependent on mental stimulation as such, in order for them to sustain life effectively. either that, or they are simply created that way. whatever the reasons, just too bad lor. i say as how i see – people do things the only way they know how. end of story.

already, i have tons of crap piling on my chipped plate, playing mind games is last on my agenda. shouldn’t they just shut their traps and thank their lucky stars that i’m accommodating and not anal retentive – unnecessarily? seriously, tak makan saman, tak reti bahasa! “excuse me? i respect your stinking privacy leh, shouldn’t it be right that you also respect mine?” wahliao! nak jaga fantat sendiri pun susah. pun tak aman. yennadeh … kita nyer fantat, kita nyer suar dalam ah. my own backside one you know, not others leh.

why? kenapa? kenapa tak boleh tengok orang bernafas sikit? selama nih ada ke kita sibuk ngan hal-ehwal dorang? ada kita sibuk dok hidung tak mancung pipi tersorong-sorong? ada ke dorang nampak kita melukut tepi gantang atau menangguk di air keruh? cuba cakap? dorang nak tonggeng ke, nak tiarap ke, nak terlungkup ke, ada kita masuk frame? rezeki kita, ajal dan maut kita bukan kat tangan dorang aper. bukan dorang yang tentukan so why, why all the kpo zorror?

hello, pekung awak yang menimbun tuh dalam kocek kita, tahu? nak kita broadcast satu dunia, jadi macam awak anak-beranak, suratkhabar bergerak? tak sayang mulut. mulut longkang. mulut tak bayar insurance. itu pasal tak habis-habis sibuk jaga tepi kain orang. tamak-haloba, busuk!

*note to self: regard as deterrent. jangan sampai jadi sampah masyarakat.*